Bad Face Tattoos Biography
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Source (google.com.pk)Yeah, bad tattoos are basically a bummer, right? But they're also pretty much a rite of passage for bored and disenfranchised-feeling teenagers the world over. At least it was for about 95% of the people I know. Going to a reputable tattoo shop and getting a wizard or unicorn drilled into your lower back is totally fine, but nothing really takes the place of sitting around with a bunch of friends and some beers, enthusiastically taking turns poking each others' arms full of bad ideas-which actually is fun at any age.
It's easy-anyone can do it (even teenagers, who, according to recent scientific tests, don't even have fully functional brains). You probably already have all the materials you need at your disposal, and best of all nothing shows true fortitude of character quite like learning to live with a bad decision.
Here's what you'll need:
1) Sewing needles, not too big and not too little. Get a bunch.
2) Thread (one spool, stolen from your roommate's sewing kit).
3) A pencil or some such shaped object (this will be the handle for your tattooing needle).
4) India ink-black liquid acrylic (you can use other colors too, but I'd suggest sticking with basic black for now).
5) A razor (if you're especially hairy)
6) A thin-tipped marker. 0.05mm Rapidographs work fine. But a regular pen works too; you just want something that marks skin fairly well.
7) Clean hands, relatively free from tremors, open wounds, or Parkinson's Disease.
8) A willingness to see things through to their conclusion.
9) Enough booze to keep things interesting.
To start with, assemble all your supplies on your work surface.
Wait, on second thought, let's include one more thing in the photo:
Being neat isn't required, but my OCD makes me have to arrange everything at right angles to everything else. Disregarding neatness, let me caution you about one thing: blood-borne disease.
Ask yourself before starting: Do I know this person I'm going to tattoo? Am I relatively certain that this person does not have a disease I do not want to contract (and vice-versa)?
There will be a little blood, so it's best to be cautious. Again, don't have any open wounds on your hands (or wear latex gloves like professionals do, you pussy). Just try your best to keep things clean. By which I mean: Wash. Wash your hands. Scrub them down. And oh yeah, for the love of god, use a new needle for each person getting tattooed, okay?
Then take the needles you plan on using (remember: a new needle for every person getting a tattoo) and put them in a pan filled with a bit of boiling water and boil the hell right out of them. Once they're boiled and relatively germ free, handle them carefully.
Oh man, I forgot one incredibly important component to successful home tattooing: music. Music sets the mood. If you choose your music carefully, you'll create the proper ambience for the evening's activity.
Necessary albums include (but are not limited to):
The Rolling Stones-Tattoo You (obvious choice)
The Rolling Stones-Let It Bleed (put this on halfway through the first tattoo)
Thin Lizzy-Black Rose (this dude from Belgium who's staying on my couch had never heard Thin Lizzy before, which obviously had to be corrected immediately. And plus, lots of people get rose tattoos. Speaking of which, why not go ahead and put on some Rose Tattoo?)
Okay, now we're going to move on to actually constructing your rig. Take one of the boiled needles and with a whole bunch of thread carefully attach it to your handle (pencil, paintbrush, etc.).
Don't go trying to insert the eye-end of the needle in the pencil's eraser; that just doesn't work. What you're trying to do is fasten the needle securely to the pencil-once it's on there, you don't want that needle to budge. Leaving off about 1/2 inch of the tip of the needle, wrap the remaining bit of it tightly to your handle. Wrap it over and over and over. Then keep winding because the thread needs to cover almost the entire needle, pretty much right up to the point.
This is where neatness counts. You don't want a big ball of thread rolled all willy-nilly around your needle dripping ink everywhere, so when wrapping just the needle (not the handle) only give it one or two layers of thread. Wrap everything except for the last 1/16th of an inch. Definitely don't leave anymore than 1/8th of an inch showing. The purpose of the thread is to hold the ink. When stabbing the needle repeatedly into someone's flesh, the thread needs to come into contact with the skin so that the ink can get in there. If you leave too much of the needle tip unwrapped, you'll have to stab really deep and nobody wants that. Seriously, I can't stress this enough: leave just a tiny bit of needle showing. You'll thank me later.
Once you've got that out of the way, you may want to disinfect the needle one more time before plunging it into anyone. If you're like me and don't own a hospital-grade autoclave, just use your lighter. Just remember to let the needle cool down before you get to work, otherwise you'll brand your friend instead of giving them a tattoo, and everyone knows that branding is retarded.
Doesn't it look like I'm about to smoke some crack in that second photo? Also, don't pay any attention to those finger tattoos, 'cause they're not homemade.
This is pretty much all you're going to need. Well, a couple of paper towels too. But that's it. Once your rig is finished, you'll need to decide on a tattoo. Get everyone together and start drawing. Remember, these are homemade tattoos and as such they will lack the finery of shop-bought tattoos. Unless you've got all the time in the world and a high tolerance for pain, steer clear of things like shading, coloring, straight lines, and realistic portraits. Keep the tattoo small, not only for practicality's sake but because nobody wants to see your full sleeve of pointillist nightmares.
So, ideas... keeping in mind the above caveats: go nuts. Seriously, make yourself a little masterpiece. The dumber the better. Dare your friends to get the worst tattoo you can imagine. Draw up a few pages of bad ideas. A good rule of thumb for homemade tattoos is that if everyone in the room laughs at the drawing, someone should probably get it. Also, another good rule is that if you tattoo someone, you have to suck it up and let them tattoo you afterwards.
Here are our ideas:
Jesse wanted either a cactus, a stegosaurus, or a dagger.
Nobody stepped up to the Herpes Heart, though.
- See more at: http://www.fecalface.com/SF/index.php/features-mainmenu-102/how-tos-mainmenu-104/282-homemade-tattoos#sthash.ioByf7FM.dpuf